Neji and the Itsy Bitsy Spider
by Baby Cougar
Summary: Neji awoke, feeling something crawling on him. The first thing he noticed was the figure at the end of the bed. Then he noticed that his bedroom was flashing, sending the figure into drastic relief. "The itsy bitsy spider..." it sang. "AHHHHHHHHHH"


**This was a request. For the life of me I cannot remember who requested it, I also remembered she wanted to beta it. I dug around my reviews and PMs, but I couldn't find the message. If you are the person who requested this fic, don't hesitate to knock me upside the head for forgetting who you are. If you still feel the need to beta this oneshot, ask, and I can…figure it out. I'm not sure how to do the beta thing anyway. Enjoy!**

Neji and the Itsy Bitsy Spider

Hinata sighed, her cousin had once again flaunted his superiority in her face. Well, Hinata wasn't going to take it anymore. She was going to pay him back. Very discreetly.

Evil plans started to formulate in her mind, but she thought of Neji's greatest fear, the one only she knows about, and an evil smile wound its way onto her face. She set off in search of Shino.

* * *

"But Shino-kun!'

"No."

"Please!?"

"No."

"Fine."

"Hn."

Hinata pretended to walk away, knowing Shino would go back to what he was doing. When he did, she whipped around and, in a dead run, bowled Shino over. She swiped his sunglasses off his face and ran as fast as was Hyuugaly possible.

"DAMMIT HINATA! GET BACK HERE WITH THOSE!" Shino yelled from behind her.

Hinata put the shades on and flitted towards the lake. She stood in the middle, and second later Shino was in front of her, hands on knees, breathing heavily.

"Give them back!" He said once he caught his breath.

"Oh, what, these?" She said innocently, pointing to the dark frames on her face.

"Yes!" Hinata back flipped when he made a snatch at them, effectively getting out of his reach.

"You want these?" She asked, taking them off and twirling them in her fingers.

"Dammit! Give them here! What if someone sees me?!"

"Well then, come and get them." And with that, Hinata folded them and stuffed them down the front of her shirt.

Shino dropped his jaw. He couldn't believe she would stoop to that level. He resisted the urge to wring her neck. He straightened his posture and glared at her before coughing into his hand.

"Fine. I'll help. But will you ple---hey! GET BACK HERE! DAMMIT!"

Hinata squealed and took off. She used shunshin after she got to the shore, so Shino lost track of her. She activated her Byakugan and located Neji out in training ground 12 with his girlfriend, Ten Ten. She was throwing everything she had at him, and he deflected every weapon. As much as Hinata disliked, and at times liked, her cousin, she never had a bad thing to say about his fighting. He was a perfect example of Hyuuga skill.

Still, he needed to taste his own medicine. She ran to the grounds, knowing that Neji would be too occupied with Ten Ten to notice her, even with the Byakugan. She hid in a tree, watching, waiting for him to go home.

She totally forgot to give Shino his glasses back.

After Neji finished training with Tenten, he left. Hinata stayed behind in the tree, waiting for a reasonable distance before pursuit. She felt a movement behind her.

"Can I have my glasses back, Hinata?"

"AIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!" Hinata screamed at the top of her lungs, and her heart skip a beat. She nearly jumped out of her skin and fell out of the tree.

Shino winced when he heard the _crunch_ of his glasses when she hit the ground. Maybe scaring her was a bad idea. Why did she need him anyway? He couldn't care less.

Oh yeah, his…skills.

Hinata shook her head, and pulled the remains of the glasses out of her shirt, shaking it out a little, letting the little black shard fall out the bottom.

"Oops." Hinata said to Shino, he hopped lightly to the ground. "Tell you what, Shino, I'll buy you newer, cooler ones if you help me pull this off. Now go home and start collecting."

She took off again, before shouting over her shoulder, "Be at my house at eleven tonight! NO exceptions or else!"

Shino growled, stupid girl. Stupid glasses, stupid eyes. Oh well, can't be helped. He was roped in now.

Shino went to the large glade within his Clan's walls and started to collect the largest spiders he could find, as well as smaller ones.

* * *

Hinata went to the store to get new glasses. She had to have something to coax him with anyway, and she did break his glasses. She found a really sleek pair, more goggle like than those bug-eyed ones that she accidentally crushed. She paid for them. After all, what's creepier than Shino singing "The Itsy Bitsy Spider?" Exactly. She hadn't told him that part of the plan yet. She went to the next store, a Halloween shop, and bought a cheap strobe light. It was about ten now, and Neji had gone to bed at about eight. Gai did have them get up to train at odd hours.

Hinata stealthily snuck into his bedroom, preparing it for the horror that would befall her unsuspecting cousin. Good thing he didn't believe in Halloween, because he would be even worse for wear. She plugged in the strobe light, making sure that it was set to turn on with the remote she had.

She opened the window, it was about ten thirty now, Shino would be here soon. She jumped out of the window and landed lightly on the ground, waiting for him to show up. He finally did, ten minutes early.

"You got the goods?" She asked him.

He sighed and raised his arm, and a whole arachnid army congealed around the location they were in. Perfect.

"Do you have my glasses?"

"Yes, but I couldn't find any like your old pair, so I got a cool new kind instead."

Shino took the glasses from her hands, and looked at him. They sure were different. He slipped them on, and was amazed. It was like he wasn't even wearing them. The world was only slightly darker, but the moonlight wasn't hurting his eyes. Wow, he thought. I'm gonna have to get a new snazzy outfit to go with these.

"Thank you."

"Right, come on."

They jumped through the window, and Hinata led Shino to the end of Neji's bed.

"Okay, stand there." He did as was asked, when suddenly she snatched the new glasses off his face again.

"What! Why?" he hissed, careful not to wake up Neji.

"Because there was something I didn't tell you. We are going to sing "The Itsy Bitsy Spider" very slowly, and make it as creepy as you can. Start bringing in your spiders, and make sure the largest ones are around his head." she whispered quietly.

She gave Shino his glasses back, and flipped on the strobe light. The spiders were in place. The flashing in the room plus the spiders all over him were enough to wake up Neji.

Neji awoke, feeling something crawling on him. The first thing he noticed was the figure at the end of the bed. Then he noticed that his bedroom was flashing, sending the figure into drastic relief. A double glare from its face nearly blinded him, because the flashing light was bright. But that wasn't what was strange. The figure raised its arms, and waved them slowly up and down. Another pair of arms emerged from the sides. Neji's eyes widened and he gripped the blanket tighter.

"The itsy bitsy spider…"

He heard a voice, an impeccable mesh of Hinata and Shino, and awfully creepy.

"Came up the water spout…"

Then Neji noticed something in front of his face, dangling. He focused his eyes on it. A large spider, hanging by a single thread. His eyes got wide and he fought back a scream. He looked back to the figure, flashing in the darkness.

"Down came the rain.."

Spiders, everywhere, were coming down from the ceiling, and draping off the figure. Large ones were landing on Neji's bed. They slowly crawled up to his face.

"And washed the spider out…"

More spiders, like a curtain, were falling down, like an endless dark snow, flashing throughout the room like a silent movie

"Out came the sun.."

Neji watched in horror as the figure lost two arms, and grew taller. The light flashed again, and he saw the eyes. Horrible, hollow eyes. The figure grew more arms on the top, then reached out, and the spiders on the bed crawled more rapidly towards Neji. He nearly wet himself.

"And dried up all the rain…"

Suddenly, the spiders were gone. Neji tried to move, but found it difficult. He gasped when he realized that his entire self and bed was covered in the sticky spider silk. He was too scared to even break it. He didn't want to know how the song ended.

"And the itsy bitsy spider…"

The figure's top set of arms moved, as if sending out a command. Neji twitched and felt a large presence right over his head. He looked up, and his mouth went from a grimace to a silent scream of sheer horror. A spider the size of his head was lowering itself upon him, and all the other spiders congealed upon the figure at the foot of his bed.

"Went up the spout again."

The large spider landed on Neji's head. He let out a bloodcurdling scream, and a large wet spot appeared in his blankets. All the spiders that were in his room seconds before went flying out the window, with the exception of the largest one. It crawled down his face slowly before crawling along some threads to the outside world. The scream only intensified.

Hinata nodded, job done, She bent down and whispered in Shino's ear.

"We better get going, my father is coming."

Shino nodded and leapt out the window, still carrying Hinata on his shoulders. They split in the air and hit the ground. Hinata was laughing because she had finally paid back the awful things her cousin had done to her. Even Shino, who in the beginning would have not wanted to get involved, was chuckling from the hilarity of the situation. He released the remaining spiders from his control.

"Alright Hinata. I helped with your crazy scheme. It's late, and I need to go to bed. May I leave _now_?" he asked her.

She laughed and said yes. She got up and went back to the house. She was about to go back in when Shino said this.

"Thank you for the new glasses. I think it's about time I updated my look. White is going out of style. What do you think of black and green?" Hinata sweat dropped. She didn't want to deal with this now.

"Go for it!" She shouted out, then went inside to go to bed. When she passed Neji's room, she ran in the door, mocking concern.

"Neji-nii-san! What happened?" It took all her willpower not to laugh at the scene. Her father was sitting on the bed, and Neji was in his lap, in a fetal position. He was gripping Hiashi's shirt and sucking his thumb, eyes wide with fear. Hiashi was rocking him back and forth trying to soothe him.

"S-spiders….so many s-spiders…the m-man…with the s-spiders….."

Hinata really had to try hard to keep the concerned look on her face. A job well done.

She pat Neji on the head and went to bed. It was a long night.

END

**SO….whatcha think? I'm gonna draw many pictures for this fic….the visions I had were too strong not to. This isn't supposed to be any kind of bash fic…Hinata decided to play a prank on Neji using his weakness, spiders. How would she get that many spiders? That's right! Rope the bug ninja in and threaten him until he complies. Works every time. Watch out for raging fashion sense later, though. Please Review! And you, whoever you are, who requested this fic! Make yourself known so I can make the dedication! Thank you!**


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